aaaaaaaagh

I'm not particularly interested in Objective-C for its own sake, but I want to be just like everyone else and make TEN BEELION DOLLARS on the back of the iPhone. I've been trying to play around with MonoTouch--which is, to borrow a technical term, really really cool--but it seems to require enough foreknowledge of Objective-C and Cocoa that I have to learn that first.

And I have a question. Well, two questions.

Question the first: How drunk were they when they came up with this insane language?

Question the second: What made the XCode developers decide they hated other people and wanted to punish them?